words from Israel 1 October 25th 2023
My friends and colleagues around the world,
I am writing to you with a painful and bleeding heart.
Many of you have been interested in my health in the last 2 weeks, you called, wrote, offered to stay with you at your home and warmed my heart and I thank each of you. In addition, there were extraordinary gestures in the world of support and love for my country Israel.
For those who haven't heard yet, on Saturday, October 7th, a terrorist squad of Hamas - Daesh infiltrated Israel. The date chosen was both Saturday and the last holiday of the The High holidays when the Torah begins to be re-read.
On that day, more than 1300 people were brutally killed, most of them civilians who were in their homes on the holiday, young people at a nature party, and soldiers. The descriptions of the murders are unimaginable in their brutality - including, dismembering bodies, rape of girls and beheading of babies. On that day, 8000 people were injured and more than 200 prisoners were taken (some of them old, disabled and babies!). This is the largest murder in one day, since World War II. since the population of Israel is only 9 million people, everyone knows someone who was murdered, captured or wounded! This is a catastrophic event similar in scope to the twin attack 9-11 This war takes Tal, my husband and me still in Munich! After a stay of almost four months in which we traveled, worked, had fun, met great people (some of them Shakti-Tiara), and also experienced the atmosphere and history.
Immediately after the event on Saturday 7th, my daughter was drafted into the army and the partner of my younger daughter was drafted into the war. Three of my friends buried their sons this week, two were killed in the army and one attended a party. I know friends whose relatives are among the POWs and haven't heard anything from them since Saturday morning.
Since last Saturday I have been sad, such an abysmal sadness that shrinks my soul, sadness that makes a hole in my stomach, in the last two weeks I have cried more than I have cried in the entire previous decade. I am sad for the losses in body and soul that have been until now, I am sad for the fear we are now experiencing of living - being at home, going out into nature, being happy. I am saddened by the thought of the war that will be and claim of more dead and wounded and I am saddened by the loss of innocence.
In recent years I have engaged in conscious leadership and tried to live my life in a win-win-win manner with a deep understanding that we can and should be people with personal freedom and freedom of opinion, realize ourselves and our purpose in the world and accept everyone exactly as they are. I am active in human rights organizations (mostly LGBT rights). I teach for Conscious Capitalism Israel and I had the privilege of facilitating Shakti leadership workshops in Israel. I firmly believe that regardless of a person's gender, race, and color, he or she deserves a good and fulfilling life. This year I am going to be able to fulfill my shakti project- Teaching conscious leadership in the university. I fear that this period will take us back to dealing only with basic needs.
Most of you know that I was born and raised in Israel when I was six months old, I spent two weeks with my mother in a shelter during the Six Day War and over the years I experienced wars and terrorist incidents as a child, as a teenager, as a soldier, as a mother and today also as a grandmother. October 7th forced me to return to the survival mode of live or die. to check that everyone is alive, to see that everyone has a shelter to be in during the alarms and to try to maintain my personal resilience. No one deserves to live like this, certainly not people, like me, who want to live their lives with love.
Last Monday I returned to my home in Israel because this is where I belong and because my soul was not at peace while my family and friends were here. It was hard for me to be there and it's hard for me to be here. The first alarm was when I was driving home from the airport with my son. We had to run away from the vehicle and hide under the bridge. Then there were several more alarms one them while paying a visit to the SHIVAA of a friends son . It is neither fun nor natural to live among missiles, unfortunately I experienced the situation quite a few times during my life in Israel.
The first thing I did when I got home was to go to Console two friends. Michal, my friend since the age of 15 lost her son who was an officer in the army. Her son was 28 years old when he died. He married just two months ago a lovely girl, an environmental activist lawyer, who is now a widow. The second is my friend Adital who lost her son at the "Nova" love party. Her son, Aili, studied in Amsterdam a few years ago the "Wim-Hoff" breathing method for calming and releasing tension. He brought the method to Israel and wanted to do good in the world. His friends saw him killed by three shots.
Since I returned, I try to support my family, hug my grandson Arbel every few days, who recently celebrated 7 months, and help in my areas of expertise related to personal resilience through conscious leadership and yoga. I dedicate a lot of my activities to the return of Alon Ohel, a relative who was kidnapped from the nature party together with two good friends and since then his family has not heard from him. Between all these things I am trying to get used to life here again and to create a recovery for myself from the difficult situation here.
I'm writing this email first to say thank you! I want to believe that my spirit will not fall, and I will continue to believe in the goodness of man, in joy and love and I will also be able to continue working. And it's important to me, my friends, to share with you things that go through me personally because hearing news in the media is completely different than hearing them from a friend.
In less than two weeks I was supposed to arrive in Portugal. I was very excited for this trip – the 7th anniversary of Shakti leadership. I was very much looking forward to the meeting to catch up, to hug and be with friends. Now it looks like I won't able to come. Most flights from Israel were cancelled. So, it was important for me to write down what's going on with me and tell you what's in my heart and say THANK YOU